


Mukuro please, I don't like woman!

by Iregertnothing



Series: Really bad Danganronpa Stories that shouldn't exist [2]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Dangan Ronpa: Trigger Happy Havoc
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-15
Updated: 2018-11-22
Packaged: 2019-08-23 20:15:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 1,775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16625699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Iregertnothing/pseuds/Iregertnothing
Summary: Mukuro Ibusaba has this huge crush on Kyoko Kirigiri. But she's rejecting her nudes.





	1. Chapter 1

Mukuro was walking down the hallway minding her own business. That was until she spot Kyoko at the cafeteria eating a sandwich. "...." Mukuro stared "..." Kyoko blinked. It was solid minute when Mukuro bolted at Kyoko before threw her sandwich on the ground and booked it!

"For the love of God! Leave me alone!" Kyoko screeched. "But I love you!" Mukuro replied, now carrying a fresh batch of flowers and chocolates. 

Kyoko had passed Makoto then she came back and threw him at Mukuro, hoping to slow her down. But Mukuro had caught him and threw him in the recyclables bin "Uh... I actually belong in one of the dorms." Makoto said, but there was no one who would help him out "That's alright! I can get out myself!" He mumbled.

Kyoko grew more tired the more she ran. But so was Mukuro, she wasn't about to get Bill Cosbyed by a veteran. "Go...away..." Kyoko spoke. "But... I love you..." Mukuro responded.

The two eventually ran out of energy and collapsed in front of a couple making out with face-licking and everything- oh NVM. It was just Mondo and Kiyotaka "Kyoko..." Mukuro called tiredly. "Fuck...off..." Kyoko coughed. "Y'all gotta do something with this relationship. It's unhealthy." Mondo said. Kyoko nodded "I completely agree. Mukuro has to learn how to let g-" Kyoko was interrupted by Junko who popped out of nowhere "You're overreacting, Kyoko-chan.  _You_ have to let go of my sister." She claimed.

"What?"

"Yes! Exactly!" Mondo shouted.

"Do you guys not see what's going on"

Junko patted Kyoko's back and looked at her in pity "My sister's attractive and all. But you're being a creep, if you don't leave my sister alone I'm getting a restriction order." Mukuro ran up to her slightly older sister with tears in her eyes "Junko please! I'm pregnant.." she claimed.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mukuro is pregnate? •0•

"I'm pregnant!" Mukuro claimed. Junko gasped on disbelief "No, you can't be. You're only 17!" Mukuro had tears in her eyes, she couldn't speak. Junko grabbed Kyoko's collar on her jacket "Why didn't you use protection!" She cried. "I don't have anything to do with this pregnancy! I'm  **female** and we only met two weeks ago!" Kyoko snapped back.

Mukuro shook her head "It's okay Kyoko... You can tell them how we've been dating for two years.." 

"No we haven't."

"Yes we have."

"No we haven't."

"Yes we have."

"No we haven't."

"Yes we have."

Mukuro pulls up a scrapbook of the two together. They were all the same, Kyoko sleeping peacefully and Mukuro snuggling with her. "Kyoko, it's okay... We can get though this..." Mukuro said softly. Kyoko took awhile looking at the photos. They weren't fake, rather they were evidence of breaking and entering into her dorm and did God knows what to her body. "What the fuck were you doing in my dorm from the last two years?" Kyoko asked.

"That's not important! What's important is that you impregnated my sister!"

"I don't even  **have** a penis! I'm a girl!" 

"We all know you're a trap, Kyoko." 

"Yeah! You're the trap!" Chihiro said "Definitely Kyoko Kirigiri. The trap. Yes." He chuckled. "Shut up Chihiro! No one loves you!" Junko screeched. " **I** love him!" Aoi shouted. "You'd fuck anyone." Junko replied. Aoi was now sad. "Don't say that to Hina!" Chihiro hissed. " I do whatever I want. I could even end the world if I wanted to." Chihiro was now sad. Then he began to make out with the only person he loves be **CAUSE YOUR SHIP IS SHIT AND IF YOU DISAGREE I WILL CUT YO-** Kyoko was confused on where any of this was going.

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyoko is regretting everything...

It's been five months since Mukuro announced herself pregnant, and it's been showing. Kyoko on the other hand constantly claims that the baby isn't hers and refuse any mention of it. "But what if it was. What would you do, Kyoko? Would you end up like your father I presume?" Celestia chuckled. Kyoko shook her head "I won't be like that bastard. But I'm telling you, that baby isn't mine." She responded. Celestia threw her cup of coffee at the wall "Who the fuck gave me black coffee!? I only drink tea assholes!" She hissed.

"I think that was mine." Kyoko sighed.

"Anyway, Kyoko. This shouldn't even be a problem. Your kid or not, it needs a father."

"I have a vagina. Why does it seem like everyone forgot that?"

On the corner of her eye, Aoi Asahina stumbled across the cafeteria and sat with the two girls "Hey you guys..." Aoi breathed heavily and appeared to be sweating with her hair looking like she had a rough fight with a two hundred pound tiger. "Aoi? What happened?" Kyoko asked.

Aoi had only giggled and began to play with her hair. Kyoko cocked her head to the side. "Nothing. I just had a great time. That's all." She smiled. The girl two girls shrugged and resumed their conversation "It's your kid " Celestia smirked. Kyoko growled under her breath before Mukuro ran up to her and gave her a peck on the cheek "Morning, Honey." She smiled.

"God damnit it's not mine!" Kyoko growled. Mukuro frowned "Kyoko. I can't do do this by myself. This baby needs a father as much as a woman needs a partner." She mumbled. Aoi giggled playfully again before Celestia slapped her into reality "No! I wanna go back to my daydream!" Aoi cried. 

"Go get me tea, you pig." Celestia respond. 

"Who do you think you are! I'm a mother fucking swimmer! I work out more than you by at least three times,  **and** I have way bigger boobs than yours!"

"Well at least I am not a hot head."

The two girls began to bicker back and forth before Kyoko snapped back at them with a cold stare "You two behave. Celestia I'll get your tea. But you'll have to wait." She commanded. And so, the two did, sweating in fear that Kyoko would do something awful if they refused.

"See? With parenting like that, you'll be a great dad!" Mukuro chanted.

" **I HAVE A VAGINA!"** Kyoko shouted before running away in frustration. Mukuro called out for her, but Kyoko only responded with her middle finger in the air and rushed out the cafeteria. Mukuro began to cry. No one has ever seen her like this before, she was on her knees and cursed at herself for being like this. A five month pregnant older teen, who had no idea on what it's like to bare a child. "Hey, hey. It's going to be okay!" Makoto said trying desperately to cheer her up.

"No, it's not! It's all my fault!" She screamed. Makoto frowned, there has to be a way to get a hold of Kyoko and convince her. "Hey everyone! The Muary Show is on!" Byakuya yelled. Then, Makoto had an Idea...


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The gang goes to the Muary Show!

Kyoko was walking around the school aimlessly. She is was deep in her thoughts, how could this happen? Why is Mukuro pregnant? Isn't it bad enough that she stalks her? Then all of a sudden a sharp pain throbbed in her head, she could feel blood oozing out of her head, then she blacks out. Only mumbling was the clear sound before hitting the floor.

When Kyoko had woke up, she was tied down on a chair with in front of her was a large bald man with a grey mustache. He was holding a clipboard and was clearly annoyed by her just sitting there. "Now I'm not going to ask you again. What is your name?" He asked. "Kyoko Kirigiri, who are you I may ask." She replied.

"Well, I'm Dr.Phil and you're on my TV show!" He shouted before a bright light blinded Kyoko and revealed a audience behind Dr.Phil and to her left, Mukuro Ibusaba who looked even more pregnant than a few hours ago?  _Wait a minute. How long was I asleep?_ Kyoko thought. "Now, Kyoko. You're wife has asked me to do a DNA test from your sperm, and blood from the baby you claimed was not yours." Dr.Phil said   before the audience booed at her.

"It's  **not** mine! You're a doctor, correct?"

"Indeed I am." He nodded.

"Then tell me this. How the hell did get sperm from me, I am a  **woman** I have breasts and a vagina! Why can't you people understand? Why do I have to the father? There are plenty of other girls for you Mukuro! I'm just not the right one!" Kyoko snapped.

Mukuro looked at her with teary eyes "Kyoko... Why do you think that? I- I've always had a crush on you. And we've been married for ten years-"

"What kind of bull shit is that?" 

"-But I know that in your heart. You truly care. And you want to become a father. And if it means I have to use Dr.Phil to get you to say that. I won't stop fighting. Because I love you!" Mukuro shouted.

The audience awed Mukuro and her speech. She had wiped the tears from her eyes and looked at Kyoko.

"Listen, Mukuro. I just don't feel the same way. I'm sorry. And whoever impregnated you I'll make sure they'll be there for it. It's just. I don't like woman." Kyoko responded.

The audience booed Kyoko again but this time shoes, hats, bagels, arrows, were thrown at her. 

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Dr.Phil! Omi gosh it's Dr.Phiiiil!

Where were we? Oh yeah!

"Stop throwing things at me!" Kyoko hissed. And so the audience did so. Dr.Phil clicked his pen and scribbled on the clipboard "Mhm. Now, tell me why you hate this poor woman, whose done nothing but love you." He commented. Kyoko shook her head "I don't hate. I just don't love her either." She replied.

"Can we go to the DNA test? I have places to go!" Shouted Byakuya Togami, who was impatient and eating golden popcorn. Because regular popcorn is for poor people. Dr.Phil nodded and pulled out an envelope "Now, remember. This was tested with your sperm. Don't forget that, okay?" He said. Kyoko nodded, even though it was it was ridiculous, she was female, but if she didn't she'd be booed again, and the audience had knifes and pitch forks this time.

As Dr.Phil pulled out the paper, slowly yet surely, the room grew quiet as if someone were lying dead there. "And you, Kyoko Kirigiri are..." He started. The audience was nervous and Mukuro showed great happiness, this was it. The moment of truth. "Kyoko Kirigiri..." Dr.Phil repeated "You are  **not** the father." The crowd gasped as Mukuro's smile widened. "You are the mother!" 

**Author's Note:**

> Ha ha  
> I'm running out of ideas.


End file.
